A Therapist's Guide to the Holidays with a Chronic Illness

Holidays With Chronic Illness

First, I want to say this clearly: I see you. The holidays can be full of excitement, joy, connection and a whole lot of anxiety, especially for those of us living with chronic illness or chronic pain.

As both a therapist and someone who is personally disabled by chronic illness, I know firsthand how easy it is to push through symptoms in ways that aren’t sustainable. I’ve spent many years forcing myself through traditions, plans, and obligations simply because “that’s what you do” in December. If that resonates, I hope my lived experience, combined with a strengths-based, compassionate clinical perspective, helps you make this season more comfortable, grounding, and actually enjoyable.

Holidays (All of Them)

For the sake of inclusivity, I’ll call this entire stretch of late December “the holidays." Yule, Winter Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa all land around the same time, and even if you don’t celebrate any of them, you might still get invited to gatherings, potlucks, workplace events, or family dinners.

No matter which holidays you do or don’t celebrate, there tends to be a common mix of:

• gift-giving

• cooking elaborate meals

• baking

• family and friend gatherings

• workplace get-togethers

• social pressure to “do it all”

If that feels overwhelming? This post is for you.

Finances

Let’s be honest: the holidays can be expensive. Even if you DIY every gift and thrift every decoration, costs add up fast, especially if you’re already managing the financial strain that often comes with chronic illness.

This year I went to pick up some holiday food staples and discovered cranberry ginger ale was $9 for a case of 12. (I’m still offended.)

Here’s the truth: No one wants you to go into debt to prove your love through gifts or elaborate meals. If buying ingredients for a big family recipe isn’t accessible, there is absolutely zero shame in:

• grabbing frozen meals

• bringing store-bought baked goods

• choosing budget-friendly dishes

• setting firm spending boundaries

If you want genuinely affordable meal inspo, I highly recommend Dollar Tree Dinners on YouTube. She creates nourishing, creative meals using pantry staples and ultra-low-budget ingredients.

Dollar Tree Dinners:https://www.youtube.com/@DollarTreeDinners

Food

Cooking can be incredibly draining if you have limited mobility, dexterity issues, fatigue, or pain. You deserve access to food that works for your body without hurting yourself to get it.

I’ve linked a creator I love Epicurious Expeditions. They focus on cultural, flavourful dishes that don’t require knife skills or long periods of standing at the stove.

Epicurious Expeditions:https://www.youtube.com/@EpicuriousExpeditions/featured

Bring Safe Foods (Seriously, Do It)

If you have allergies, sensory needs, or dietary restrictions, bringing your own safe food is the ultimate life hack. It looks thoughtful, and it guarantees you’ll have at least one thing you can eat without getting sick.

For example: this year I’m bringing a pomegranate, cucumber, and chickpea salad to a friend’s Christmas dinner. My medical diet requires high fibre, so bringing something that supports my digestion means I can enjoy the evening without silently battling stomach pain.

Clothing

Let me drop a radical holiday truth: Being comfortable is hot. Confidence is hot. Accessibility is hot.

Always check the dress code, ask your host or peek online. Nine times out of ten, people would genuinely rather have you show up in leggings and an oversized sweater than not show up at all.

My personal outfit formula is simple:

• leggings or athletic joggers

• a soft, breathable tee

• a cozy cardigan

One of my nonbinary friends (also chronically ill) rocks elastic-waist chinos and a henley long sleeve. Whatever your gender or vibes, shop your closet and don’t feel pressured to buy new clothes just because it’s December.

Assistive Garments Count as Clothing

Heating pads, compression garments, braces, mobility aids—these absolutely count. Bring whatever you need. It’s always better to have your supports with you and not use them, than to need them and be stuck suffering silently.

Events

One of the hardest but most empowering parts of chronically ill life is accepting that you can’t do everything, and that’s not a moral failing.

Look honestly at your capacity and decide which events are actually worth the energy. For example, I adore the CP Holiday Train, but this year I’m in a flare. As magical as that tradition is, it doesn’t align with my body, my spirituality, or my priorities this December.

And I want to say this loudly:

You are not responsible for managing other people’s feelings.

If you need to:

• leave early

• cancel because your symptoms worsened

• skip an event entirely

• say no because attending would cause a days-long flare.

You don’t need to push yourself to the point of suffering just because it’s the holidays.

Your body deserves safety. Your energy deserves respect. You deserve a season that includes you, not a version of you that’s burning out quietly in the corner.