Finding a Therapist Who Truly Fits You

Finding A Therapist Who is the Right Fit for You

It can be difficult to determine if the therapist you meet for a free 20-minute consultation is the right fit for your needs and personality. Clients often ask about a therapist’s qualifications, experience, and therapeutic modalities. This is a great place to start, but those questions can sometimes feel clinical or surface-level. While you don’t need to have everything in common with your therapist, if your values are very different, you may not feel safe opening up in therapy.

Ensure Your Therapist Is Queer-Affirming

For clients who identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s important to work with a therapist who is not only an ally but actively queer-affirming. This means they advocate for policies and practices that support and protect the community. As a client, you have the right to ask your therapist how they demonstrate allyship. This could include asking who they vote for, what causes they support, or how they show up for queer communities in practical ways. A bonus consideration is whether the therapist’s practice donates to queer nonprofits or participates in Pride events.

When There Is an Age Difference Between You and Your Therapist

A significant age difference between client and therapist can sometimes feel awkward at first. For Gen Z clients, it can be helpful to ask your therapist if you can share memes or TikToks that resonate with your emotions or experiences during sessions. For older adults working with younger therapists, there may be concerns about whether the therapist understands your generation’s experiences or the need to unlearn outdated or harmful societal norms. Regardless of age, it’s appropriate to ask questions about how your therapist works with clients in your age group and how they adapt their approach across generations.

When You Need to Know More About Your Therapist to Feel Secure

You are allowed to ask your therapist personal questions. Your therapist also has the right to decline or redirect them to maintain healthy boundaries. That said, simple, connection-building questions can be helpful, like asking, “Do you also have a dog?” or, when they suggest a coping skill, “How do you use this skill in your own life?” These small moments of shared humanity can strengthen the therapeutic relationship while maintaining professionalism.